Want to hear a funny story? I do not think it is rather funny for self-evident reasons, but you (people) may benefit from the irony and the sadness towards the humor within it. Well ... I'll inform you the story and you may decide if you feel my pain or if you need to just do what I do now ... (medication helps) laugh in internet marketing and shake your mind in disbelief.
It all started years back when I bought my first house. A beautiful little vacation cabin on a rather large and modest parcel of wooded land. I had been in awe of my purchase. Nestled in the woods on a dirt road across from the 100 acred horse farm, the quiet and serenity took a little while to get accustomed to ... since I moved there from living in a Manchester apartment within the past couple of previous years. I used to be so ready to get out of the apartment living scene in places you share parking lots and population noises and hard of hearing neighbors and are limited to making your own personal level of noise when you wish to. I went from side from the spectrum to the other when purchasing the house. There were maybe seven houses traveling when I bought the cabin. Bordering two towns, it ran a meandering mile and a half of unpaved dirt that demanded all year round maintenance that anyone ever living over a dirt road can appreciate. If you ask me, it was my dream house.
As eager as I was to move into my own house ... not to mention a vacation cabin in the woods ... and as ready as I thought I was to be a homeowner, I was about to get yourself a fully blown open case of reality. Yard maintenance. I'd all this money-back then from my savings and middle management income and yet all I bought to battle the first summer and winter would be a small 20" push mower along with a very large snow blower. The biggest, baddest, most expensive model that Home Depot needed to offer. It was over $1000 also it had reverse and three forward speeds. You almost needed a to pass through a course and become certified to work the darn thing. Following your first summer and pushing the 20" mower over two open acres, I was ready to battle the smaller landscape from the unpaved driveway with a much larger machine and take winter on full force. Silly me.
Following your first major storm ... I recall it want it was yesterday ... my time, the New England Patriots were playing at 4 inside the afternoon and that i went outside at 7 AM and saw the devastation. More than a foot of snow. However, not the fluffy and easy to shovel number of snow. It absolutely was granulized. There was a whopping, frozen consistency to it. And it was very cumbersome and hard to move. I sparked up the snowblower unafraid. I shifted in to the first gear and moved the shovel with the behemoth into the snow and waited to look at it chuck the ball snow over thirty feet into the woods. Except that isn't exactly what happened. The snow purging in the chute was barely flying on the height of the handles with the snowblower itself and within 30 seconds, it clogged the chute entirely. And i also hadn't even gone one meter into the driveway. Well ... this can not be how it is gonna be, I thought to myself. After an hour of trying to angle the girth of the snowblower in different directions and stopping to unclog the chute about 17 times, I remarked that I was shoveling my 100 yard long dirt driveway with a 200 pound shovel and i also was losing this first round of war Old Man Winter had waged on me for no apparent reason whatsoever. All things considered, as a renter for many years, I would relish the very fact of winter and i also engaged in every types of winter activities. I did previously look forward to winter ... until that year of 1995 ... and every winter since. I threw in the towel on the concept of the snowblower and grabbed a shovel. Looking bleakly at the long, unforgiving driveway, I realized by noon, that seated in front of the television with time for kick-off was severely threatened. By 3:45 inside the afternoon, a neighbor who I needed not really been formally introduced to, drove by and noticed my situation and saw me shoveling. I used to be about half way down the driveway at this point. He stopped and pulled in and asked basically wanted him to push the remaining forward with al l the plow on the front of his truck. At that time, I was prepared to do anything with this act of chivalry ... I'd reshingle the rooftop to his house at no cost ... mow his lawn in the summer ... trim and file his toenails ... anything. Nothing was required. It had been a simple act of friendly neighborhood etiquette. He pushed the snow forward and that i was sitting in front of the TV with a beer at your fingertips watching the 3rd year quarterback Drew Bledsoe and the Patriots undoubtedly screw up a half time lead. All for naught, but I've been a Patriots fan for some time, long time.
The second storm of the year was a bit more forgiving and I realized that the consistency of the snow dictated how you can manage the snow. There have been going to be times the snowblower would not really do ... unless I used to be able to be home and fight the tempest every couple of hours for your duration from it. Which everybody knows from the working world, isn't entirely possible. There's, after all, no storm on the planet mightier than the Almighty American Dollar. Businesses stay open now because people venture out in them now. Remember the great storm of '77/'78? Stores closed. Schools closed. People made do. Not anymore. Times have changed and thus have Blue Laws. In God We Trust it says around the American currency ... which in and of itself will be the irony ... but a tale for another time.
From then on winter was over and another summer of pushing that stupid 20" lawnmower around in 80 and 90 degree humidity, I realized that it was time for new things. Something that could handle the amount of the lawn and plow the driveway during the cold months. Did they can make this kind of machine? Supply a break ... let's remember this is only my second year of being a homeowner. A John Deere tractor. I noticed one out of the garage of the very house I now lived in ... owned through the two girls that liked the other person I bought it from. Needless to say. How stupid was I being? I desired a tractor. So I started calling around. They wanted how much for a John Deere? An excellent education AND my first born child? Holy mother of some guy named Pete! Okay ... I had to do some more research. Certainly there needed to be a quality tractor available that could do the same job for less money. I could obtain a car for your amount of money John Deere wanted to get a garden tractor. After hemming and hawing for a time, I discovered the Massey Ferguson. The very same model using the exact same Briggs and Stratton motor inside it cost $6000 more to be painted John Deere green and yellow. My Massey Ferguson was reddish orange. Will every one of the winter and summer amenities, it had been delivered in the snowstorm all come up with and I used it and it worked marvelously ... for only $10,000.00. The next time I went along to use it however ... Going it enjoy it was yesterday. It was Christmas Eve. We closed a couple of hours early from work and despite that, after the nasty travelling conditions, by the time I arrived home, I desired low range four wheel drive to get my truck up and into my driveway. Something deep and sinister in the back of my mind explained I was likely to challenge the complete crap out of my Massey Ferguson. Ok last one. Indeed. I couldn't handle the machine whatsoever. A couple of feet forward. Stuck and spinning. Back up. Drop the blade (the salesman had asked easily wanted the snowblower attach ment for the front with the tractor, but after the initial winter, I opted for the blade) and push forward again ... six inches. Hmmm ... I realized after a couple of hours of this ... I was shovelling my driveway having a 600 pound shovel. You gotta be kidding me? Eight hours later, I had a rabbit trail cleared herring bone style towards the end of my driveway plus it took me three more days of four and five hour shifts to go the rest of it back and widen. The equation was not difficult. In order to battle the storm, I needed to be home for it and not allow it to get ahead of me. Until I obtained the tractor stuck ... three times in one plowing. Then the front tire spun off of the rim flat. All of the repairs were completed in the driveway ... inside the snow ... inside the elements outside my control.
I oftentimes tried the tractor to the best of its ability ... it mowed the lawn marvelously ... until it was six months beyond its warranty. I was plowing and I had just been out in the street and I was pushing up my driveway ... not a lot ... it was manageable enough ... and suddenly the tractor stopped dead in their tracks and I was not able to steer it. You gotta be kidding me? I acquired off and checked out the front tires which are awkwardly and precariously misplaced ... then I noticed the front axle had completely collapsed beneath the tractor. You have GOT to be kidding me? I called the place I bought it and so they came out to select it up to make repairs about it. I complained that I use it to plow and mow as well as perhaps I'd let a couple storms succeed of me every once in awhile ... however it WAS a plow and created for this type of beating ... wasn't it? The salesman-slash-owner assured me it was not being over-used which it was the correct model that HE sold me to execute the job which i neede d. Until he set it up the bill to correct the front axle. I asked him if he had spoken to Massey Ferguson and the man said he'd and they said I used to be abusing the tractor. Over-using it, was the term they used. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders almost apologetically want it was from his hands. I assured him that it was indeed from his hands now ... because I needed the money to upgrade to some bucket if you need to ... but because of his dishonestly and obvious lack of knowledge to the product he had been selling for the last 30 years, he wasn't getting another dime out of my pocket. See ya later, alligator.
So, I got home and pondered. What haven't I tried to battle winter? A plow for my Toyota Tacoma. I must say i didn't wish to put a plow on my truck. Nevertheless they make those "Minute Mounts" since pop on and pop off in just a minute! Yeah ... for those who have a paved driveway or a garage big and deep enough to keep it covered all year round, maybe. The next winter, I decided it was time allow it a try. I reluctantly put a $3000.00 "Minute Mount" electric Fisher Plow on my truck. There's no torsion bars on the Tacoma's of that year. The plow fully raised hung two and one half inches above the ground. Driving it home after it was installed, I encountered a head-on collision with every frost heave in the road. Nonetheless ... it worked out okay for your winter. Well ... kind of. The minute to mount it took a lot more like a half hour to 45 minutes. The jack to level the plow would sink and rise about the thawing and refreezing ground developing a new height for your truck to adjust to every time I tried to put it on to get a new storm. Four letter curse words and floor jacks, breaking bars and hammers, snow shovels and more four letter curse words ... and then finally, I'd get the plow on ... in a lot more time when compared to a minute. Then, I'd plow and be done so quickly that I'd really be in denial and would shovel some regions of the yard to to remind myself that it was still winter and i also was still at war. Next time I had to mount the plow would remind me all too well with the small battles waged during my direction.
I chose to leave the plow on my truck one impending storm and I used the truck to go to work that day. I couldn't get free from my own way and also the plow ran into everything across the road. I used to be actually plowing the state and city roads, although my plow was entirely up, with my little Toyota Tacoma. You have got to be kidding me! This could not do. By Spring of this year, I realized the extent with the damage the plow and also the winter had done to my poor, beautiful little truck. Two snapped leaf springs on either side in the rear, two front blown shock absorbers, two severely worn and cupped front tires. Okay ... so your auto repair center, me and the boys made changes for the truck. We added an additional leaf spring for every side from the rear axle. We replaced the leading coil over shocks and placed rubber coil spacers in the front coils to lift the leading end. We replaced all four tires and jumped up a couple of sizes ... all to lift the truck and bring the plow up more off the floor. No w ... after $2500 in parts and labor, the plow was four inches off the floor fully raised rather than the two and a half inches like before. And that worked well enough ... for a while, that is.
After a couple years we decided to sell our beloved vacation cabin. I met a lovely young lady, fell madly in love, got married, together a child together with her at the ripe young age of 39. Realizing that the cabin wasn't a great choice to raise an infant and due to the fact that we were so remote, we chose to sell and move north towards the Great North Woods of New Hampshire. Where winter is nine months long and the other 90 days is just bad snowmobiling with black flies. Go figure.
The house we ended up buying would be a smaller house on the much smaller yard and although I knew I was going to miss the seclusion with the woods as well as the large yard we'd, I was also breathing a sigh of relief that my outdoor maintenance would be trimmed down to a fraction of exactly what it had been on the cabin. Or ... therefore i thought. At the conclusion of the first winter, the plow for my truck, barely three years old now, stopped working properly. I was performing all of the maintenance scheduled recommendations and changing the hydraulic oil and many types of that ... I'd already encountered a blown hydraulic line during one storm ... which incidentally, cripples the plow immediately. Nevertheless the plow itself wasn't responding correctly to the commands I had been sending it on the electric joy stick. A quick investigation would result in the discovery the plug for your three-point plug-in harness had a cracked wire. Why? Well ... every time you plug and unplug the darn thing in ... rememb er this us usually done within a snow storm when it is very cold out and the wires are brittle in the elements beyond our control ... it might bend and compromise the wires. About this particular plug, there was only three wires which made it susceptible to being far more delicate and vulnerable than the other plug. So ... what I probably should have done was ordered a brand new three point wiring harness and installed it ... but let's remember a pair of things ... the first is; there is a storm happening and I don't have time to wait for this thing to be delivered via Internet ordering and delivery ... AND the second thing is; I'm a Yankee so there should be a way to not merely fix this, but make it better. Am I right? Studying the results of that winter, I'd beg to challenge that statement. I rewired the plow as well as the most part, it worked ... alright ... when it wished to. Taking on an electrical mind of the own almost like it were a possessed hunk of metal and machinery like Stephen King's tale Chris tine, it served its sole purpose for your remainder of that winter. Not entirely satisfied with my wiring schematics, however, I decided to re-do the job in the summer months when it was much warmer as well as the elements outside of our control were much more hospitable. Almost anticipating winter and looking to speed the rest of that summer up therefore i could see how well it would perform, I was aghast to find out the darn thing wouldn't work on all come the initial calling of the name that year. I had been relinquished to the snow blower and shovel. I obtained it working a couple of times that winter, however it began to get deeper and deeper into a snow bank that rendered it a harbinger of Spring. Like the frozen dog poop that melted and refroze in the icy landscape of the back yard. See ya in April ... maybe.
So ... after taking care of the plow all summer long recently ... okay ... it wasn't all summer long ... it absolutely was actually eventually and after I rewired it and got a new plug (not the recommended three-point harness which would have undoubtedly given me a couple more many years of trouble free use) and attached it for the truck and ... nothing. Not really a moan in the electric motor. I fidgeted with this particular and that. Unplugged the bottom wire and cleaned the terminal. The plow raised and I was pleased. "Yes! Alright!" I hollered towards the Plow Gods. Phew. I put it back down thus hitting the joy stick command to raise it again and ... nothing. You have to be kidding me! Also it hasn't worked since. I'd visions of loading it in my truck and bringing results ... or just chuck it in the Androscoggin River as you go along ... and trying to repair it, however in all honesty ... it beat me. It won without doubt and I quit. I just gave up. A work for some other day this new year ... maybe.
And then this winter continues to be unforgiving. I turned my Massey Ferguson tractor into a plow. Something I've not done since I bought the plow for the truck. I got everything finished in time for winter. I obtained the snowblower running, the tractor converted over and ready to go, the generator was cranked up and running ... I was so ready for winter in 2010 ... except the Massey Ferguson wouldn't start each time I went to use it. I replaced battery with a higher cold cranking amp kind. Nothing. I might use the battery charger on it ... finally get it going ... after which use it and the next time I went to start it ... nothing. The alternator is beneath the crank on this model. I must pull the very best end with the motor off and away to get to it. I am not doing that whenever the high temperature with this time of year can be a balmy 30 degrees. Today, this morning, it's -14 degrees Fahrenheit. Yeah ... as well as the tractor is parked inside the woodshed and completely submerged in a giant snow bank. I recently gave up on it. You've got to be kidding me.
Then there is that storm. I recall it like it was yesterday. It absolutely was yesterday! I had been snow-blowing around the tiptop of my Minute Mount Fisher snow plow. The height of the snow banks were challenging the fully erect chute from the blower ... the quantity of snow is threatening to gobble the entire girth with the seven foot plow completely up ... I looked out in the back yard on the giant mountain of snow blocking the woodshed in which the tractor is parked unusable ... I visited the end of the driveway where the big plow trucks push the trail ingredients four feet into my driveway ... when i just plowed the end ... and the snow is really a consistency that quickly reminds my snowblower that it can and will be challenged often in its lifetime ... and that i resort to the age old invention that man may be using well before snow plows and snow blowers and tractors and other machinery and electrical-slash-hydraulic devices to battle the elements ... outside our control ... the shovel. Chopping in t o the road debris using the blade with the shovel ... the snowblower was running close to me wasting precious gasoline ... but I did not feel like re-crank starting it ... I pondered how much money I have invested into battling the war waged against me when Old Man Winter bumps uglies with Our mother earth and I need to clean the sheets up after them ... $16,500.00! A snowblower that actually works only in ideal snow conditions and consistency ... a tractor that only plows and starts once the conditions are ideal along with a magical wrench is waved ... a power Minute Mount Fisher plow that can take a lot more than a minute to install and now only works in the summertime ... once ... and could never work again ... (plus the money I had to invest in my truck to beef up in order to manage the plow following the first winter) and they're all ganging through to me and mocking me as I chop the blade with the shovel in to the snow and chuck it within the snowbank which is now way above my head. What within the name with the mother of the guy named Pete did I ever do today to Old Man Winter and Nature to make them hate me a lot?
Jody L. Campbell
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